Chapter Text
“Ready?” II asked softly, caressing Vessel’s cheek with his knuckles.
The man blinked at him slowly before he seemed to realize something and gave short, rapid blinks, “Give me a few minutes?”
“Sure. Do you think Sleep would let me take a quick shower before, though?” II reached for Vessel’s hand to start leading him towards the stairs.
His other frowned a little, “I think so? They let you get settled and only put you to sleep once I tucked you in.” II pulled him by the hand easily and Vessel let his partner lead him, snickering a little when II had to rummage through his drawers with one hand because Vessel would not let go of his. He managed to get a change of clothes and gave Vessel’s hand a gentle squeeze once they stepped into his room.
“I’m gonna be quick, okay? Change into something comfy in the meantime.” He didn’t wait for an answer and went to the bathroom, getting his shirt over his head as he did. Feeling tiredness weigh down on him, Vessel stepped to his wardrobe to pull out a clean pair of sweatpants and a shirt, changing into them while he listened to the sound of the shower. He stepped into II’s room to borrow a hoodie and went downstairs to retrieve a few items. By the time he emptied his kangaroo pocket and arranged the bottles of water and packets of snacks he brought upstairs on his desk, the door to the bathroom opened. Vessel lay a sweater over the back of his chair and turned around to see II brush a towel over his hair.
“Hot water feels weird on my new skin. Not bad, but it’s a bit tender,” He stretched his arms over his head, “It felt good for my muscles, though.” II shrugged and stepped back into the bathroom to hang his towel.
Vessel went to sit on his bed and busied himself with fluffing his pillow. He shuffled to the middle of the bed to make room for II to sit by his side. Even though both his body and mind were tired, he couldn’t help the wave of nervousness that washed over him now that they were so close to the moment when he took a plunge into the unknown. His fingers curled so he could pick at his cuticles but II put a hand over his to bring his attention back to the present.
“Come here, love,” II opened his arms and pulled Vessel to his chest, pressing a kiss to the side of his head as he did, “It’s gonna be alright, I promise. I’m gonna take care of you.”
Vessel’s voice was almost lost in II’s shoulder, “I know.”
II pulled his arms from around Vessel’s sides and rubbed up and down his arms instead, feeling a slight tremble to his frame, which became just a bit thinner than he remembered it being. Worry creased his brow, “You feel so light,” Vessel averted his eyes because he knew II wouldn’t like it if he knew just how little he had eaten in the last few days, “You weren’t eating much, were you?” II’s tone wasn’t accusatory and he kissed Vessel’s forehead where the man bowed his head as he moved it slightly from side to side, “I’m gonna cook you something nice when you wake up.” He focused on brushing away strands of hair from the other’s forehead.
“We gotta go shopping if I do. Most of what we had probably went bad already.” II pushed another strand away from Vessel’s face and grimaced as he registered what he said but a yawn broke out of Vessel, so he put a hand on his other’s arms to gently urge him to lay down.
Vessel’s eyes went a little wide but he stayed upright, lifted one hand with his index finger extended, then put it to the thumb of his other hand, “Okay, so, first was your skin-"
“My First-”
“-it peeled in these big patches,” He touched his index fingers together as he went on, “Then you started shivering, then I think it was-" His middle finger came next, Vessel’s eyes looking in II’s direction but staring off into space while he tried to recall his memories.
“Ves, I-” II tried to interrupt as Vessel continued listing off the stages in a hurry.
“-the fever, but it wasn’t a normal fever, it was way worse, and then it got even worse. And then, what was next? I think-" Vessel pushed his ring finger back with his index finger, a frown creasing his features.
“Love,” II cupped Vessel’s face in both hands, which made him stop his rambling and look at II with his mouth half open. There was a light brush of affection and amusem*nt coming from Sleep, “I’m gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay.”
“I just wanted you-“ II pressed a short kiss to the corner of his mouth, “-to be prepared. I had no idea what would happen and I-”
“I know, but I’ve got you, remember?” As Vessel searched II’s eyes, he realized that the other was ready to go into the whole process blind, just as Vessel did, so he wouldn’t have an easier time. He couldn’t decide if he loved him for it or if his heart ached because he wanted II to know about all the things that could happen so he could prepare mentally.
Ultimately, Vessel’s lips pulled into a small smile, “I know.” II lightly shook his partner’s head as if to shake the worry off of him and Vessel chuckled as the other pulled away to let him lie down. Vessel reached for II’s hand to press his lips to the back of it, looking into his eyes as he spoke, “You’re my world, II.”
II chuckled softly and tilted his head to the side, “You’re being sentimental,” His eyes crinkled and there was no scorn in his tone, only gentle affection as he let his fingertips lightly caress Vessel’s cheek, “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
Vessel closed his eyes and took a deep breath, nodding as he did. When he opened them, his tired eyes bored into II’s and he spoke with a pensive tone, “I love you.”
II gave him a fond smile in return, “I love you, too, sweetheart.” It was strange to not feel Vessel’s presence in his mind but II hoped they would be connected again soon.
“If you’re ready, my First.”
Vessel lay back and arranged his blanket around himself, trying to get comfortable. II tucked him in at his sides and watched Vessel’s Adam’s apple move as he swallowed and closed his eyes. The other’s cheek moved where he was chewing on it from the inside and II caught the moment Sleep put him to sleep. Vessel’s features relaxed and even the tension in his posture seemed to ease as he visibly melted into the sheets. II looked at his love and hoped that whatever would happen, it would be easy on him. He knew Vessel was nervous, it was clear that II’s transformation left him frazzled.
II sent a quick prayer to Sleep to take it easy on him if They could and wondered out loud, “Will I be able to feel him at all?” While Vessel was awake, II could distantly feel him, very similar to their bond from before but with the distinction that the other’s presence was muddy, causing II to suspect that there would be something more to their connection once Vessel woke up.
“Not yet.” Was the quiet answer he received and he blinked a couple of times when a colorful sheen appeared over Vessel’s body. II leaned closer and stared at the radiant purples and blues swirling above his other in uncoordinated patterns. Curiosity made him touch Vessel’s arm and he watched as his finger was surrounded by what he assumed was Sleep’s magic. As he slowly caressed his other’s skin, he mused about how strange it was to see the contrast of his own darkened fingers against Vessel’s pale skin. Usually, they only had that when they were getting ready for a show, and even then, Vessel had smudges of paint on him from where he helped II get ready or when he got a bit too handsy sometimes, and traced lines on II’s neck, getting playful swats on his arm for distracting II and ending up being shooed away to get his own paint on.
II pulled his hand back and looked around the room for a sweater and spotted one on the back of Vessel’s chair. He pulled it on and wiggled his arms to get the too-long sleeves over his hands, letting his eyes wander to the table. His lips pulled into a smile when he realized Vessel prepared some snacks and a couple of bottles of water for him, along with a note on top of his notebook. The note was written with Vessel’s quick cursive on a piece of folded paper but it was clear that the man put care into writing it so that it was legible.
‘Consume them :)
(We desperately need groceries)’
II felt a burst of affection in his chest and he glanced in Vessel’s direction before grabbing one of the bottles and stepping to Vessel’s bookcase to pick a book. He chose one randomly, set it down on the bedside table, and settled against the headboard to take a few sips of water. If he concentrated hard enough, he could feel Sleep’s presence, a gentle and steady hum in the back of his mind. It was getting dark outside, so II drew the curtains and flicked the bedside lamp on, and positioned the beam in a way that he could read but the light didn’t reach Vessel’s face. II realized that he didn’t have to worry about it bothering his partner but still, out of habit, he didn’t want to disrupt the man’s sleep, even if it was induced by their deity and probably not so easily disturbed. He caught himself chewing on his bottom lip with the book in his hands and shook himself out of his thoughts enough to start reading. An early bedtime sounded appealing but he wanted to read a bit and tire himself more to avoid worrying too much. His mind wandered as he read but he returned his attention again and again to the lines before him and made some progress before stifling a yawn, closing the book, and stretching his arms over his head.
He arranged his pillow and turned off the bedside lamp, taking a few moments to look at the luminescent colors over Vessel’s body. The man had been lying peacefully, as if in deep sleep and II willed his gaze to move from the deep circles under his eyes. He hoped that Vessel would be able to get some rest because it was obvious he was deprived of it. II shuffled around to get comfortable and brushed a careful hand against Vessel’s cheek, “Good night, love.” After watching purple melt into turquoise and blue for some more time, he let his eyes slip closed and drifted off to sleep.
II woke up still facing Vessel and blinked slowly at him, looking over his body for any signs of change. There were none, so he turned to his back and stretched, keeping his arms extended in front of himself and let his eyes take in his charcoal skin. He flexed his fingers and turned his hands this way and that, then traced a prominent vein on the back of his hand, basking in the calmness of the room. By this time, Vessel was usually awake and preparing breakfast or he snuck into II’s bed to check if his other was awake and had any special wishes. II let his arms down and pushed himself into a sitting position, sighing before getting out of bed. He made a quick trip to the bathroom before going downstairs to find something to eat. Vessel was right about most of their food going bad, so II settled for preparing some oatmeal and made a mental note to start writing a list of groceries. His bowl was a bit plain as he made his way back upstairs since he had no fresh fruit to accompany his meal but he settled next to Vessel and started eating.
As he held the bowl, he noticed that even though he let it cool for a bit, the heat made the skin of his fingers prickle lightly. It wasn’t painful, only a bit uncomfortable and II wondered whether the sensitivity would be permanent. The sensation disappeared after a few moments of not touching his bowl, so he didn’t think much of it. His skin was fairly new after all and he still had to get used to seeing charcoal any time he lifted his arms. There was a strange feeling of heightened energy in him but he attributed it to the time he spent asleep.
When he returned after quickly doing the dishes, he looked over Vessel again and his eyes were drawn to the other’s fingertips. They were starting to gain a gray tint and it made soft warmth blossom in II’s chest. He stepped out to his room to get his laptop and practice pad, then settled on the bed next to Vessel and pressed play on his comfort show, busying himself with letting his hands move without thinking as he watched his partner from the corner of his eye. His drumming faltered when he realized he could see swirls of gray spread past where Vessel’s sleeves were pulled back a bit, and his attention was no longer on his screen. He bunched up the sleeves so he could watch the slow process. By the time one episode ended, his other’s arms gained a somewhat patchy dark gray color most of the way up to his elbows. II huffed in amazement and set his sticks and practice pad aside to get started on a shopping list. He knew Vessel had a notepad on his desk somewhere, so he went to look for it. Sure enough, it was under the man’s notebook which still had the note on top of it, so II lifted it to get the notepad when he noticed the note had writing on its other side. II unfolded it and was met with hurried scribbles.
‘I know we didn’t talk about ‘what if’ but I thought about it. (I’m sorry.) Read my lyrics if you want, any of them. There are some special ones that I marked, they’re yours.
Love,
Vessel’
II sighed and folded up the note again, then placed it back on Vessel’s notebook. He knew Vessel had time to think about the worst possible outcome and he wished they could have had the opportunity to talk about what II’s transformation was like for him. That possibility was there in II’s mind, too, lurking in a dark corner but it gave him hope that he got through his transformation without any leftover pain. Vessel was a lot stronger than he gave himself credit for and II promised to take care of him. Besides, they had Sleep watching over them. Obviously, that didn’t mean that there couldn’t be accidents or complications but II preferred not to focus on that possibility. Both of them were there, Vessel was safe and his skin was progressing nicely. Things were alright in the moment and that had to be enough. II took the notepad and a pen and settled beside his partner, sitting cross-legged by his arm.
“I found your note, love. I can’t blame you for thinking about it,” He put the pen down and let his thumb graze the back of Vessel’s hand, “I think about it, too,” He moved his thumb side to side as he looked at his other’s calm expression, smiling to himself with some bitterness at his perceived hypocrisy, “I know I told you it’s gonna be alright. I still believe that. But I can’t help wondering,” II took a deep breath and shut his eyes with a grimace, “I don’t like that possibility. You helped me through and I will do the same, okay? You’re my world, too, Ves.” He kept up the movement of his finger for a few minutes and simply looked at Vessel, pointedly not thinking about how it felt like he was trying to commit his image to memory. It was fine, II reminded himself, even when he reached up to brush away stray tears from the corners of his eyes.
Vessel was right, as his skin got darker, dry patches of dead skin formed over it. II tried gently removing them but they were still attached to the new skin, so he decided to wait until they could be pulled away. More and more items got added to the shopping list, while II pressed play on so many movies and series that he lost count, looking for the perfect distraction. Somewhere after his late lunch, a serving of the meal Vessel prepared for them the day before, the appearance of smoke-like swirls of gray on Vessel’s neck caught II’s attention. He couldn’t see how far the color had spread on the man’s arms since II could only push his hoodie sleeve up to just below his elbow. As II watched the gray steadily crawl up Vessel’s neck, he noticed that a light shiver shook him. He thought he saw a frown pass over the man’s features, so he got back to caressing his hand closest to him, brushing his thumb to the left and to the right at a steady pace.
Dinnertime saw him in the same position, thinking about his meal options with the limited ingredients he had while he ate leftovers again. Spending too long cooking in the kitchen wasn’t something he wanted to do but he knew he had to eat something. Fortunately, they stacked up on canned food on their last trip to the store and had several packets of ramen and some more food in the freezer. II decided to do some meal-prepping, seeing that Vessel was lying peacefully, still surrounded by swirling colors.
“I’m gonna be back soon, okay? Gotta do some cooking. I’m gonna be quick,” Naturally, there was no answer, so he softly squeezed Vessel’s hand and got up to leave the room. He turned back from the doorway to add, trying to suppress a smile, “Don’t go anywhere.” Gods, he was hilarious. Just as he pushed himself from the doorway, he felt something close to amusem*nt seep into his bond. At least Sleep heard his joke and thought he was funny.
After rummaging in the freezer and taking stock of what they had in the pantry, II settled for some chicken nuggets and fries and decided to bake some frozen cheese biscuits for breakfast the next morning. Even with using the air fryer, time seemed to move awfully slowly and II kept glancing in the direction of the stairs. Once he was done with the fried food, he put the biscuits in the oven and set a timer, then ran upstairs to check on his partner. Unsurprisingly, Vessel was still in bed, still covered in the purple-blue sheen. II stood in the doorway to look over him for a moment, taking in his gray arms and neck, and the black of his fingernails. It looked like he was asleep, like that one time after an exhaustingly long tour when Vessel actually managed to sleep in for once and II had the chance to look at his sleep-soft partner, all relaxed and calm. II returned to the kitchen, cleaned up, and put away some clean dishes until the biscuits were ready.
Getting ready for bed was a quick affair, II was eager to get back into bed and be by his other’s side. He found himself caressing Vessel’s hand again, the motion soothing him as he didn’t feel ready to sleep yet. Shivers shook Vessel, so II smoothed his blanket over him and made sure he was properly tucked in, even though he didn’t move at all. After a bit of contemplation, he lay another blanket over his partner and folded it back, so it mostly covered his legs, since he knew that even though Vessel ran cold sometimes, he didn’t like being too hot, either. Instead of trying to find another distraction, II picked up Vessel’s notebook and carefully flicked through it. There were some pages that had II’s, seemingly hurriedly scribbled, name in their upper outer corner. II picked one of those and let his eyes scan the lines written in Vessel’s neat cursive, the familiar curves spelling out careful curiosity and that same hesitance II remembered his other embodying in the early days of them knowing each other. He noticed that some pieces were dated and he smiled to himself when he read some lines from his first weeks there.
Vessel’s words described his anxieties, his self-doubt, the quiet affection he harbored for II even back then, in the beginning. Later, it became cautious longing, a desire to be known and to know the other man who so easily made a home in Vessel’s heart. II’s eyes stung when they ran over pages filled with words of denial and self-deprecation, Vessel trying to convince himself that he could never have the affection he craved, that he didn’t deserve it, and that he was weak for even thinking II, or anyone, might feel any of those soft feelings for him. It felt like a breath of fresh air when II turned some more pages and found lyrics to a song, a love song by the looks of it. Vessel had a way with words that made his lines scream of feelings of unworthiness but he soothed that rawness by describing how it finally felt like that too-familiar loop of self-hatred could be disrupted. II reread those hopeful lines, then closed the notebook and placed it back on Vessel’s desk. He got back under his blanket and lay on his side. His hand found Vessel’s again, and he repeated his earlier movement with his thumb, brushing over soft skin as he watched the steady rise and fall of Vessel’s chest get occasionally interrupted by shivers. II let his eyes close but didn’t stop his finger and fell asleep feeling the warmth of his other’s skin.
Somewhere in the early morning, II woke to see that Vessel’s shaking increased. He stumbled to the closet to get another blanket, then curled up at his side again and watched his love’s face gain a light layer of sweat. There was a brush of reassurance in his mind, so he closed his eyes again but felt Vessel’s hand move with a sudden twitch. Sleep’s voice came before II would have started worrying.
“He’s a bit restless. Worry not, my Second. Rest.”
II blinked tiredly at the changing colors that dimly illuminated the room and pressed his thumb a little firmer to Vessel’s skin, using the back-and-forth motion and the feeling of his love safe and present to calm his racing mind. It was fine. Sleep was there. Vessel would be okay.
A few hours later, II woke up to see Vessel’s face flushed, the hair around his face sticking to his sweaty skin. The uneven pattern on his neck turned into a steady gray, tapering off like diluted paint right under his jawline. Just as Vessel managed to ramble, his skin really was covered in large patches of peeling, dead skin and the extent of the change wasn’t entirely visible, since the man had a hoodie on. II wasn’t sure if it was time yet to try and peel the dead skin off, so instead of mulling over that, he ran downstairs to grab some breakfast and tried to get some food into himself to wake up properly. He managed to fall asleep easily after waking up earlier but his sleep wasn’t restful. His quickly prepared tea turned out entirely flavorless but he drank it anyway and let the light steam warm his face. Deep breaths. It was just a fever. Vessel mentioned something about that, too, although, II couldn’t recall what exactly. He was pulled from his thoughts when upon blinking slowly at his partner, he realized that the colors covering him were steadily dimming.
II was alert, repeatedly running his gaze over his partner for any sign of distress, although he quickly realized he didn’t even know what he was looking for. His tea tasted much too watery and faintly of sugar but he drank the rest of it and set his mug down on the bedside table. When he settled by Vessel’s side again, he couldn’t see traces of the sheen anymore and reached out to carefully touch the man’s shoulder, as if to make sure he was real. It did feel like it and II couldn’t hold back a small laugh of relief from bubbling out of him but his forehead creased in worry as he felt how warm Vessel’s cheek was. II lay down next to him and pushed the blankets tucked tightly around Vessel out of the way so he could cuddle to his other’s side, longing to be close. That still didn’t feel close enough, so he shuffled back a bit and tried to arrange Vessel to lie on his side. It was surprisingly easy and felt like his partner weighed a fraction of what II remembered him to. He cradled Vessel’s head to his chest to card his fingers through lightly damp hair and realized that he probably should try and get his love into a bath. That thought was followed by II maneuvering them into a sitting position, then holding Vessel upright as he worked on pulling his hoodie over his head. Even though II was wrestling an inert Vessel, it didn’t feel like a strain on his muscles at all. He lay him down again until he drew the bath and prepared some towels and clean clothes.
Even though II imagined getting Vessel into the bath would be somewhat of a struggle, he managed it relatively easily. He suspected he had Sleep to thank for that and took it as confirmation when Their presence felt stronger while II arranged Vessel on the bed. Admittedly, it felt nice to gather his partner in his arms, as much as the man’s long limbs let him, and lift him from the bed smoothly. Once he managed to get him into the tub, II took a second to concentrate on his arms but there was no burn from exertion and Sleep hummed Their approval. II could finally brush away the dry, peeling patches and see the entirety of Vessel’s new charcoal skin. Sitting by the tub, he took a few minutes to marvel at the pattern on the other’s chest. There was a shapeless form, all black, around where his heart was beating in his chest with four branch-like lines spreading out of it. One of those was strikingly elaborate, firm lines thinning into what looked like twigs, lighter gray, vine-like swirls curving around the darker lines. A thin and faint line, resembling a small twig curled back towards the black center and there were two other more visible structures, although, they weren’t as dark. Those looked like young branches and had thin lines connected to the most developed line. The dark color covering Vessel’s neck extended to his collarbones where it dispersed like smoke. The swirls on his arms only reached halfway to his upper arms and trailed off with a pattern like inkdrops in water.
II decided to wash Vessel’s hair, so he carefully massaged the shampoo into it, then rinsed it before applying his conditioner. While he waited, he brushed a hand over the expanse of soft, new skin on Vessel’s left arm, down to his hand to look at his nails. They also gained a dark gray color, and as II lifted his other’s hand from the water, he noticed a discoloration close to the edge of the back of his hand. He stroked his thumb over it but it wasn’t foam like he first thought and realization dawned on him when he repeated the motion he kept up while holding Vessel’s hand in bed. Where he caressed the skin from side to side with his thumb the previous days, a lighter patch of skin remained, forming something close to a heart. Shame and a bit of fear flooded II’s body as he stared at his partner’s skin, water dripping into the tub from where he held Vessel’s hand. The man shivered and made a small whimper-like sound which shook II out of his stupor and prompted him to rinse his hair again. He judged Vessel to be clean and brought him back to the bed to dry him off. II ignored the way his hands trembled when he dressed Vessel and made sure to tuck his partner in, carefully combing his fingers through his hair so it wasn’t tangled up.
Carrying and bathing his partner left his clothes a bit wet, so he stepped into his room for a change of clothes and noticed some sheets on the floor, so he made a mental note that they should probably do laundry once Vessel woke up. II washed his face, then climbed under the covers to cuddle up to Vessel from behind. He could feel his other lightly trembling, which made him tighten his hold over him and press his nose into Vessel’s damp hair so he could breathe in the familiar scent of him while he entwined their fingers. As he did, he couldn’t help lifting Vessel’s hand to look at his skin again and he pressed his face further into Vessel’s hair with a groan, feeling his face burn. It wasn’t only a little discoloration, II’s thumbprints were mostly visible, thin lines of light gray and the pale tone of Vessel’s regular skin. II thumbed over the area and sent an apology to Sleep in his mind, ashamed for meddling with his other’s transformation and Sleep’s work. There was a brush fondness in their bond and the deity reached out to reassure him.
“There is no harm in it, dear Second. My First was too afraid to disturb your process, he didn’t dare touch. You left your mark on him.” II felt something like the ghost of a gentle caress over his head, “He will cherish it, just as he does you.”
“Thank you,” II felt his face flush and hid his smile against Vessel’s nape, then mumbled, “My heart.” It felt overly corny, even for them but II could almost hear Vessel’s gentle chuckle and see the pretty blush covering his other’s cheeks as he tried to laugh at the pet name and pretend that it didn’t make his heart flutter. It had happened before, but in that instance, Vessel only lasted until bedtime, when he broke just after II turned off his lamp and ended up admitting into the dark that the nickname II jokingly called him that afternoon filled him with inexplicable warmth and asked II if he would be willing to use it. Of course, II was happy to indulge him with anything that put a smile on his love’s face and made him feel cherished, which apparently, some silly terms of endearment did. He gave the other’s hand a light squeeze and curled their arms to Vessel’s chest, trying to envelop his other in comfort. The fever still shook Vessel and seemed to return stronger after it had eased up during his bath. II rested his eyes for a bit, then stumbled downstairs to get some lunch. Vessel kept moving more as the morning progressed into afternoon, grimacing and squirming, and II could feel Sleep’s presence buzzing in his mind as They worked.
II couldn’t detect any changes besides Vessel’s fever steadily getting worse. Soon, several blankets covered the man and II brought a bowl of cold water and a cloth to the bed to wipe the sweat from Vessel’s face. Feeling peckish, II took a break to open a packet of biscuits and added a few more items to the grocery list, when the sudden rustling of sheets drew his attention to the bed. Vessel turned onto his back and drew a wheezing inhale, which prompted II to close the distance between them with quick steps as he tried to chew and swallow his last bite of biscuit. II was about to reach out and put his hand to the man’s forehead when Vessel startled him by slowly blinking his eyes open.
“Love?” II croaked, looking between the other’s slightly unfocused eyes. Vessel’s throat bobbed and he swallowed as if trying to gather energy to form words. While he did, Sleep explained.
“My First wished to see you. He kept calling out for you. The link between the two of you is not yet formed, nevertheless, he was quite insistent,” II detected fondness and some playful disapproval in their god’s words, “His transformation must continue, I simply hoped he would be soothed by seeing you for a few moments.”
II had to swallow around a newly formed lump in his throat before speaking, “Oh, darling,” He shuffled closer to Vessel’s upper body and put a gentle but firm hand on the man’s shoulder, so he wouldn’t try and sit up. He was too weak to attempt that anyway, with how he was shaking and could barely keep his eyes open, “You’re doing so well,” II caressed Vessel’s sweaty face and tried to make eye contact when he was able to catch his other’s gaze between his long blinks. A broken, whine-like sound was the answer, a question Vessel couldn’t get out but tried to convey with his expression instead, his forehead creasing with a frown, eyes pleading and alternating between II’s. II smiled at him and leaned closer to his face, “Yes, you are, my love. You’re being so brave,” Vessel let his eyes close and seemed to want to turn his cheek towards II, who answered his plea with a soft kiss to his cold-damp skin, “Be brave for me for a little longer, okay? I’ll be here when you’re ready to wake up.” II arranged the blankets around Vessel’s shoulders and kissed his forehead, then sat back just in time to see the man’s eyes slip closed once again.
II watched Vessel’s face for a few more minutes and chewed on the inside of his cheek. He was well aware that his partner was worried about his transformation but he just now realized he had no idea about the extent of the other’s anxiety, he didn’t even let him share much about it. At the same time, the thought filled him with bitter warmth, the fact that Vessel’s desire to get over the process and get back to II was so strong that it was difficult for Sleep to keep him asleep. Vessel kept calling out for II, even though they had no connection since their previous bond disintegrated. He tugged on a link that didn’t exist, was shouting into an echo chamber just to reach his love. II found that his thoughts couldn’t settle, so he lay down beside Vessel and shuffled under the covers to hold him close, hoping that somehow his other would feel that II was keeping him safe and couldn’t wait for him to be done and wake up. Strong shivers shook Vessel again and II arranged the blankets to cover him up to his chin, murmuring promises to the man, even though he was starting to get concerned about how much longer it would all take.
Worry made II’s stomach clench and he had no desire to leave his other, so he stayed with him, drifting in and out of light sleep with the trembling man in his arms. A little bit after his usual dinnertime, he rushed downstairs to make some tea and had a few bites of leftovers while he waited for the water to boil. It felt like an eternity and he debated whether or not he really needed a warm drink but within a few minutes, he was by Vessel’s side again and lay a cool cloth on his forehead in the hopes of making his fever more bearable. His other shifted under the pile of blankets and II watched him with eager eyes, although, he suspected Sleep would not wake him up again. II sipped on his tea and tried to read some more of the book he began reading the other day but his focus kept shifting to his partner as he grimaced and turned his head from side to side in his sleep. After getting through an entire chapter and finishing his tea, he decided to get ready for bed and turn in early. II let Vessel sleep tucked in snugly under multiple blankets and lay down close to his side, caressing his face for a bit before he turned off his lamp to sleep. He blinked into the darkness for a few moments, then clicked the lamp back on and positioned the beam so it didn’t illuminate the room too much. Sleep came relatively easy to II but he kept waking up with anxiety in his chest and watched Vessel for a few minutes before he attempted to close his eyes again. He drifted off and woke again to his other turning under the sheets.
“Mhm,” Vessel had a frown on his face and hummed in his throat, then mumbled in a hoarse whisper, “G’t it off,” His hands pushed at his blankets weakly and it looked like he tried to squirm away from something. II was immediately alert and pulled the blankets lower on his partner’s body, “Get- No, don-,” Vessel turned to his other side and got caught in the blankets, trying to pull at them futilely, panting, “Ple-ase, let go-o,” II lifted his hands in the air, even though he wasn’t touching Vessel and figured it would be better if it stayed that way until what he presumed was a nightmare passed. Vessel continued to writhe in the sheets and II tried to get his legs free but the man’s behavior changed abruptly and instead of pushing invisible enemies away, he curled into himself and muttered, sounding out of breath, “No-ho, please, I do-hon’t wh-ant-” His breath caught in his throat and his arms squeezed around his torso, then he fell quiet. II’s heart was in his throat and he focused on the rapid rise and fall of Vessel’s chest. It was just a nightmare, probably. II could feel Sleep’s protective presence and the deity didn’t leave him without answers for long.
“I am having a hard time getting him to settle again, I apologize, my Second. I can assure you that he’s safe, although, not yet in deep enough sleep for me to continue. Please see to it that he does not hurt himself.”
II knew what the deity meant. Vessel sometimes spoke or moved a lot in his sleep, on rare occasions even got out of bed. In a couple of instances, it led to him hitting his head against the headboard with the force of sudden movements or rolling off the bed. Depending on the nature of Vessel’s dream, there were times when he woke himself up but other times II had to gently shake him awake and get him back to bed and into a tight, protective embrace. II carefully pulled Vessel a little further down the bed and put a folded-up blanket against the headboard, then got out of bed to pull the bedside table on Vessel’s side further away from the bed. They didn’t need Vessel hitting his head on the edge of it if he rolled over to his other side too suddenly. Vessel was still curled up, hugging himself, so II tried his best to curl around him and ease the other’s tense grip around his torso. II ignored how clammy Vessel was and the way his clothes stuck to his sweaty skin, his hair a bit damp and sticking to his face. He hoped Vessel would settle soon and figured that he would give him a bath in the morning.
Throughout the night, Vessel kept wriggling in II’s hold but stayed on his side with his limbs drawn close to his body. II lost count of how many times he woke up to check on Vessel but the man didn’t have another nightmare nor tried to leave the bed and that seemed like a good sign. Around dawn, II woke again to Vessel twisting between his arms, then the sound of gagging made him jolt upright. Vessel’s body shook as he coughed and gasped for air. II stared at his partner with wide eyes, who was now clawing at his neck and sounded like he was choking. II was about to try giving him back blows when Vessel finally threw up a mouthful of a thick, black substance. The man lay trembling, hands still clutched around his abdomen with his mouth now hanging open, sludge flowing steadily onto his pillow. II ran to the bathroom to grab some towels and carefully lifted Vessel to lay him on them, then started rubbing his back with trembling hands. Vessel kept gasping for air and choking up more of the thick liquid and II found that he couldn’t think as cold panic filled his whole body, making his ears buzz. The retching continued for a few minutes and II had to pull away some of the towels when they soaked up too much of the inky fluid. It was part liquid, part slime but had no odor, which II was grateful for because some of it got on Vessel’s sheets. Finally, there was no more of the odd substance, and only drool flowed from the other’s mouth, so II wiped his face as best as he could, wetting a towel, and noted that he would need to wash his hair again, as some of the strange liquid got on it. Vessel closed his mouth and his throat bobbed as he swallowed, then he frowned in his sleep and curled more into himself.
II sat down on the floor by the bed and stared at the stained towels in his lap, mind wholly overwhelmed with what he just witnessed. It felt like such a childish wish but he simply wanted to see his partner awake and safe, to hold him in his arms and hear his voice, and to be able to look him in the eyes and talk to him. Tears stung his eyes and II blinked towards the ceiling, sniffling, then couldn’t hold back his words from stumbling out, “Can he come back soon? Please, Sleep?” He sat in silence for a few more minutes but eventually got up to drop off the towels in the bathroom. Vessel appeared to be sleeping peacefully at the moment, although his fever was persistent and small beads of sweat were forming on his face. II sat down at his desk to eat a few bites of biscuits, chewing monotonously as he kept his eyes on his partner. He still felt shaken but he had to give Vessel a bath and change the sheets. The sweetness of the biscuits helped ground him and he took several deep breaths between sips of water, trying to ignore how his hands trembled and how as he tipped back the bottle, some of the water dripped down from the corner of his mouth. Sleep felt distant, which didn’t exactly help II feel any better but he didn’t hold it against the god. They told him that it was hard to get Vessel to settle and it seemed that the task required Their full attention. II could be patient. He wished Sleep would hurry up or at least talk to him but he let out a deep sigh and started preparing a bath.
Undressing Vessel was a more difficult task than last time, since as soon as II laid him out on his back and got his limbs mostly straight, Vessel wanted to turn to his side and curl up again with a frown on his face. II managed to get his shirt off relatively easily, Vessel basically pulled his hands from the sleeves when II got it over his head, but his pants were a challenge. Vessel kept his legs close to his chest and tried to turn away when II started pulling them down from his waist, “Cooperate, you wriggleworm,” II let out a tired chuckle when, as if in an act of defiance, Vessel moved again and he had to roll him to his back to detangle the legs and pull them down fully. II gathered his other in his arms, once again sent his thanks to Sleep for gifting him enhanced strength, and brought Vessel to the bathroom. Vessel tried to turn his torso and move while II still held him and ended up lightly kicking the doorframe. II let out a huff and checked Vessel’s face for any sign of pain, then murmured against his skin, hiding a smile, “Lanky bastard.”
Once he was in the tub, the warm water seemed to calm Vessel and he stayed mostly still, making it easy for II to wash his hair. The black substance was stubborn and no matter how many times II rubbed shampoo over the parts where it got in Vessel’s hair and rinsed it, the color stayed. It seemed to have dyed the silver of his hair, creating uneven patterns and an admittedly nice contrast. II rinsed it again and moved on to clean Vessel’s body, starting with his face. He used a washcloth to carefully wipe it, and took a moment to caress the too-warm skin and let his gaze wander over his other’s features, then went on. After he finished, he returned to where Vessel’s head was propped up with a folded-up towel and combed through his hair with his fingers. He arranged Vessel to sit up straighter, so he could access his hair more easily. With slow movements, II properly combed his hair, grabbed some hair ties, and started braiding Vessel’s hair. There wasn’t much to braid, and II found it a bit difficult to do a French braid at first and had to start again when one of the sections got too loose. Vessel sometimes braided it like that to keep his chin-length hair out of his face and II had seen how he did it numerous times, sure fingers moving between soft curls, Vessel’s brows furrowing lightly in concentration. II liked it when the man wore his hair like that, his face was more visible and the dark brown of his undercut made the silver of the longer section pop. Plus, Vessel wasn’t able to hide his blush behind his hair and II tended to lovingly weaponize that. He delighted in the way he could run his thumb over the man’s bottom lip where he bit it to try and conceal his smile and Vessel instantly met his gaze, eyes crinkling and his whole face lighting up from II’s adoration.
By the time II managed to braid Vessel’s hair, it was time to get him out of the steadily cooling bath. II was biting the inside of his cheek as he sat him down in the armchair by the wall, worrying about how long his fever had been going on. Dressing him while he was sitting up sounded like too much of a challenge, so II tucked some clean blankets around him while he stripped and remade the bed. Laundry was already on II’s to-do list for when Vessel woke up but at the moment, he simply tossed the dirty sheets on the bathroom floor. They would probably need to buy new ones anyway. After some time, he lay Vessel on the bed and dressed him, pressed a kiss to his forehead, and let his fingers run over his braids. Luckily, Vessel’s blankets didn’t get stained, so II could wrap him up again, then plopped down beside him to catch his breath. He felt drained and hungry, so he stumbled downstairs to heat up what leftovers he had, eyeing the electric kettle while he waited. There was a socket right next to Vessel’s desk. He could make tea and instant noodles. They didn’t really have any other food left anyway and II didn’t want to leave Vessel alone to cook. When his food heated up, II took the container out, then unplugged the kettle and brought them both upstairs. He made another lap to get tea and packages of ramen. It wasn’t ideal but it couldn’t be too long now until Vessel woke up.
II sat down to eat by Vessel’s side, arranging his blankets around his frame, brows drawn together in thought. The man’s face was flushed and had a sheen of sweat on it, his body shaking with bouts of shivers.
“Sleep?” II tried to feel around his bond for the god and felt a light brush of Their presence, “Is he- How is he doing?” He averted his gaze into the leftover container and poked around in it with his fork, hoping his question didn’t sound too demanding.
“My First is progressing with his changes well, although, waking him has hindered my work somewhat. His mind and body are too aware, he tries to fight my magic,” The deity came across as fondly amused, “He is being a bit stubborn.”
II couldn’t help smiling at that, “You know how he is.”
“I do,” Gentle affection flooded II’s chest and mind.
“Is he in pain?”
“Some. He asked for yours while he watched over you. He had such pain in his chest already, I can’t bear to give him any more. My First greets pain with open arms as you are aware. He loves and worries, and at times that leaves him with pain,” II could only nod at that, “I do not wish to make you suffer more than what I cannot protect you from. That is to say, I’m trying to shield him as much as possible but he is resisting. I’m hoping that forming your bond might help with that. He would feel your presence, unconscious as he is. He would know it’s you, my Second.”
“I would like that,” II swallowed, throat suddenly tight, “I miss him a lot and- and I would love to feel that he’s here,” He tapped his temple with his hand holding the fork, “So maybe I can know how he’s doing.”
II felt a trickle of affection in the bond, “I will see to it, then.”
The afternoon was spent with II trying to read beside Vessel, hands and gaze regularly wandering to smooth the covers over his partner and take in his pale face. Vessel panted and gasped as shivers shook him, tossed and turned in the bed over the course of hours as the sun had begun to set. The outside world felt still but, in his mind, II could feel a gentle tug on his link with Sleep. The pulling sensation came in waves, at times stronger, prompting II to put a hand on his chest and make sure he could breathe for a few moments, other times it disappeared entirely. Time ran away from him and he only got up from the bed when he couldn’t ignore the discomfort in his stomach anymore. Stepping into the bathroom, he filled the kettle and boiled water to make a cup of instant noodles and some tea. After pouring the water over the noodles and the tea bag, II sat down at the desk and let his eyes unfocus and stare off into space. He wasn’t sure how long he got lost in his mind for but the rustling of sheets caused him to blink himself back to the present. Vessel simply turned to his side in his sleep, so II stayed at the desk and ate his soup. From the way the noodles were soggy, he suspected that he zoned out for several minutes but dug in nonetheless, eating more to satiate his hunger than to feed his appetite. He found he lost that a couple of days ago.
When II got back into bed later, he was particularly aware of his bond. It felt as if there was a bit of dangling rope, an underdeveloped line leading away from his mind that someone was tugging on. II concentrated on it for a few minutes and felt a gentle nudge from Sleep. Despite the late hour, his eyes weren’t tired yet, so he took Vessel’s notebook from where he put it on the bedside table and flipped through the pages. It opened on a page wavy from what II guessed were dried tears and he had to brush a hand over his eyes to make sure they weren’t his. He missed Vessel’s gentle words, the way his voice was just a bit raspy in the morning, and how he sometimes sat in the kitchen while a beam of the Sun shone over him, sipping tea with his eyes closed. II always asked him why he didn’t simply pull his chair a bit to the side so he wouldn’t be blinded by the light, but Vessel’s short reply was, ‘It’s warm.’
II read through a short story he recognized to be one that Vessel described to him what must have been years ago, then turned the page and found some lines written in the man’s small cursive. II always thought of it as the handwriting he used when he wanted to hide his words even from himself. He had seen plenty of lyrics composed like that, words written clearly but cramped close together, letters half the size of the usual. A couple of lines grabbed II’s attention.
‘He looks at me like he sees me. And listens. He hears me. I hope I won’t make him want to leave. I would like to know him. I would like him to know me.’
Things had changed since the early days of II’s arrival to the manor. Vessel changed. II did, too. At the same time, some things felt the same. Things II never wanted to change. Vessel’s soft smile, his humming when he was cooking or baking, the way he melted into hugs, the hitch in his breath when a kiss stole the air from his lungs. II was grateful to have been chosen, he didn’t regret accepting Sleep’s offer. Every step led him here, even to the present moment and he wouldn’t have changed a thing. Hard days were hard, they were awfully hard sometimes but Vessel and II had each other and the protection of their deity. They came out on the other end, changed but the same. II liked to believe that it was meant to be this way.
He closed the notebook and kept his palm flat on the cover for a few moments before putting it on the bedside table. The lamp stayed on for the night and II fell asleep with his hand on Vessel’s arm, feeling Sleep’s presence in his bond.
When II woke up in the early morning, it felt like there was something off about his mind, as if a branch got caught in the flow of his emotions. It felt like a presence. A vague, distant presence. Like the rope had a weight tied to the end, not pulling on it but simply hanging there. II missed feeling Vessel’s warmth, so he pushed some blankets around and snuggled up to the man, serving as the big spoon and holding his partner in his curled-up sleeping position. Vessel appeared to be calmer, he wasn’t wiggling around as much and II dozed off with his nose at Vessel’s nape.
A jolt woke him and he felt Vessel squirm in his arms. There was sharp panic in II’s mind but he didn’t feel any of it physically. He lifted his head and looked at Vessel who was breathing heavily, his expression twisting into a grimace.
Vessel lay on sharply cold ground, complete darkness surrounding him. The lack of light and warmth felt like it was feeding off him, slowly consuming him. Then came the shrieks.
II tried to focus. He wasn’t feeling panicked. Yet, it came from his mind. The feelings weren’t his. Sleep was distant, as well.
The sounds weren’t human. Vessel knew, he didn’t know how, that they were creatures, horrid and unfathomable. The ominous screeches echoed and a rumble came from above, followed by a metallic, sour smell.
Vessel hummed, hugging his torso with his arms and drawing his knees close to his chest. He was trembling and all II could think to do was to continue holding him.
Dark crimson drops fell. Vessel couldn’t see, only sense them, heard their splatter on the ground. Then the wetness hit him, each drop a small sting on his body. The rain rapidly grew into a downpour, blood flooding the void Vessel lay in. The smell made his stomach churn and the liquid started to surround him on the ground and reach up to his mouth. Vessel turned onto his back, mind racing to think, to run, to escape whatever fate he would find there. The level of blood was rising and the horrific sea was strangely thin, but the tang of it made the air feel tangible, as if it would materialize and get stuck in Vessel’s airways to slowly fracture his delicate organs, bones, his whole body.
“It’s okay, Ves, it’s a nightmare, you’re safe,” II’s voice sounded unsure even to himself but he had no idea how to comfort his other. His mind was a jumble of ice-cold terror and panic.
Vessel was floating, he could feel himself rise with the sea level. There was still more pouring from somewhere above, as if from unseen wounds of thousands. Terror held Vessel’s limbs, legs extended, and arms by his side. His ears got submerged and as soon as they did, a faint thumping began to reverberate through his body. It was followed by a growing sense of unease that sat on his chest, an invisible embodiment of dread pushing down on him, yet he was still able to breathe. He did, he smelled the repulsive, rusty stench that filled the air. The rhythm was infrequent, unsteady. It was an ever-growing sound as if the source was getting closer. The thumps grew closer together until they felt like they were inside Vessel’s skull, inside his body, threatening to break him.
II tried hugging Vessel closer, rubbing his side, “Hey, I’m here, I’ve got you,” Vessel’s wiggling started to get frantic and he gasped for air, startling II.
II? II was there. Vessel felt him. He was there, still as a statue, and was looking at him. Vessel still couldn’t see but knew II was there. Vessel’s mouth opened to plead for help, for warmth, anything to get him out of there. II remained unmoving. He blinked, watched as Vessel’s breaths quickened, the way his mouth tried to form words, how silent sobs escaped instead. Vessel kept trying to call out to him, begging, barely articulated words trailing off into his mouth moving around inaudible wails, face twisting in pain originating from his mind.
“Ow, f*ck,” II recoiled from where he held his other when he felt a sudden jab in his mind, like someone poked at a protective membrane surrounding his psyche with a scalpel. The burning pain disappeared in a second but as II let go, Vessel was thrashing towards the edge of the bed, seemingly desperate to get away from something only he could feel.
As if a plug was pulled in the depths, Vessel was sinking, sucked into a whirlpool, agonizingly slow. He was forced to watch as II stood and looked at Vessel, watched as the man got dragged down, and did nothing. Vessel’s mouth was trying to form words to convince II to help, to get him out, to reach for him but he got no reaction. Vessel felt like a rope had been snatched from him before he could have reached out. His way to safety had been pulled up and II left him to drown.
It felt like the bond in II’s mind was pulled taut and stretched almost painfully, the confusing mixture of numbing pain and fear taking over the connection. Vessel gasped violently like a drowning man and tumbled from the bed just as II was about to reach for his arm and pull him back.
There was only nothingness, warm wetness surrounding Vessel, the irony taste filling his mouth, flowing in through his nose, into his lungs, filling his whole body as he sunk. II didn’t help. He was there but he didn’t even try. A tiny part of Vessel’s consciousness told him to fight the pull, to try and get above the surface but his mind emptied as he let himself be pulled under. II didn’t want to save him. Didn’t want him. Pulled back and disappeared. Left Vessel to drown. To suffer, to stay in the unsettling sea of the void, unable to move, to speak, to scream, trapped in his mind with no outlet. Vessel’s desire to fight the pull of the blood disappeared. He let go.
The bond got startlingly quiet and II scrambled off the bed immediately, “sh*t,” Vessel was curled into a tight ball on the floor, limbs tensed up, holding himself together but no longer shaking, instead lying terrifyingly still. II felt Sleep’s presence appear with a surge of worry, the deity sending a wave of reassuring calm right after. II put a hesitant hand on Vessel’s arm, then when the man didn’t flinch, he began to pull Vessel up into a sitting position, rubbing along his arm, hoping to soothe him. Once he got his arms around the man, II held him tight for a few minutes, gaze lost in the distance, one hand grasping Vessel’s waist, the other cradling his head. II concentrated on the bond, which he suspected connected the two of them now, and listened. It was silent, save for II’s own panic and worry. The other side was silent, merely a presence, familiar but alarmingly still.
Finally, he murmured, “It’s alright, love,” II didn’t know how much of what he was saying was true and he saw his own hands tremble but he had to comfort Vessel. The man sweated through his shirt and it stuck to his skin and as II pulled him to sit up more, he realized Vessel’s sweatpants were also sticking to his skin. He first noticed them pull a little bit around the calves but as he reached to straighten Vessel’s legs, he spotted an unmistakable stain at the other’s crotch. Oh. II was surprised but it made sense if what he felt in the bond were Vessel’s feelings during his nightmare. His first reaction was to pull Vessel’s head close to his face and press a kiss to his temple, “It’s okay, I’ve got you,” Strong arms lifted Vessel onto the bed and lay him down carefully. II stopped to kiss his other’s forehead, then stepped into the bathroom to run a bath.
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” II held Vessel close as he carried him to the tub, watching his face. The other seemed calm, not trying to squirm out of II’s hold or kick his legs, his previous perpetual frown absent from his face.
“He’s calm at last.” Sleep came across as apologetic.
II propped Vessel’s head up with a folded-up towel and set to washing his body, “Did it take a nightmare to get him to stop fighting?”
“His mind frightened him.”
“Yeah, it does that sometimes. It scared me, too,” II’s trembling had ceased around the time his mind latched onto the task of giving Vessel a bath but he remained shaken.
“He was close to the surface, close to being awake. His bond is fresh and reactive. It startled his body and caused him to have a physical reaction. I’m sorry, my Second.”
“Did you see his nightmare?” II asked, inspecting the skin on Vessel’s thighs as he ran the washcloth over them carefully.
“Yes. He saw you. I suspect my First sensed your presence in his mind. Your bond is somewhat sentient at the moment and quite reactive to your mood. You were startled and closed off instinctively. He felt you pull away.”
II felt tears prick his eyes but he resolutely concentrated on bathing his partner. He was there now, Vessel had to feel that. He hoped he did.
“It wasn’t intentional. He is calm now, unhurt. Please, do not try and find yourself at fault for this.” Sleep offered a warm bundle of comfort and retreated into a faint presence in the back of II’s mind.
II blew out a long breath and sat by the tub, running his fingers along the swirls of gray on Vessel’s collarbone, “I’m sorry, my love, I didn’t mean to scare you. I would never leave you alone like that,” His fingers wandered up Vessel’s neck and he settled on brushing his knuckles against Vessel’s cheek, “Wake up soon, yeah? I miss you.”
Once he got Vessel back to bed, II thought about his food options. He wasn’t exactly hungry but he was trying not to skip meals since the resulting fatigue and headache weren’t exactly convenient. They had cereal and milk, that didn’t require cooking. It wasn’t the most filling meal, but an okay breakfast, so II gave Vessel’s palm a kiss and got up to get himself some food. He settled at the desk and crunched away slowly while looking out the window, thinking, hoping that it wouldn’t be much longer now. Swallowing was hard but he tried to fight his anxiety.
Time seemed to crawl throughout the rest of the morning. II read some, wiped Vessel’s still feverish face with a cold cloth, then turned him to his side to cuddle with him. He missed the other’s nuzzling, his arms around him, Vessel’s soft snores, and the sleepy sounds he made. Vessel's presence wasn’t usually loud in the manor but the room felt too quiet without him. II found himself humming a familiar melody, one he couldn’t name. Vessel would have been able to put a title to it and II wasn’t sure if the brief stir he felt in the bond came from him or not, but he went on with the song, running his fingers along Vessel’s braids, then pressed a kiss to his forehead.
It was nice to see Vessel rest calmly, although the persistence of his fever worried II. He arranged Vessel’s blankets over him again and continued reading his book but let his mind wander. Fully concentrating on the story was impossible, some part of his mind was constantly occupied with his other and he listened closely to their bond at times, keeping a close eye on it in general, to calm himself. It was quiet for now but he could feel Vessel. Around early afternoon Vessel’s fingers twitched and he nuzzled his pillow lightly. II looked up from his book with a smile. Vessel was probably dreaming or his nose itched. He settled after a few moments and II didn’t think anything of it. He prepared a packet of instant noodles and sent a half-hearted prayer to Sleep to hurry up because his diet wasn’t exactly what one could call varied.
Throughout the afternoon, Vessel’s fingers spasmed randomly and he kept rubbing half of his face into his pillow. Maybe it was the sweat that bothered him. Vessel’s face was damp with it and he exhaled almost forcefully as he moved his head from side to side again. II got up to get a bowl of cold water and a cloth, then set to wiping his other’s face to settle him. After a few minutes, II started caressing his cheek instead, looking him over for any sign of further changes and finding none. Vessel’s skin was warm, especially around his cheekbones. It was rather hot and as II ran careful fingers over the skin, it felt soft, almost moldable. He retracted his hand, frightened. Vessel didn’t seem hurt but his skin being that squishy didn’t seem normal. Anxiety didn’t let him do anything besides lie down next to his other and keep a worried gaze fixed on his face. II couldn’t see visible changes but Vessel kept moving his face, pressing it into his pillow with quiet, grunt-like noises, then settled down. This went on for some time, then II dozed off after a longer period of calm from his partner.
By the time he woke with a start after realizing he had fallen asleep, Vessel’s movements were almost forceful. II gently pushed his shoulder to get him to lie on his back instead, so he could look at his face again. The skin of his face was flushed and under Vessel’s closed eyes were small but noticeable protrusions, forming under his skin. II could only blink in shock but Sleep was quiet and Vessel didn’t feel upset, so he settled on keeping an eye on him. The afternoon saw II alternate his gaze between his book and Vessel. He read a sentence, then eyed the bumps on his partner's cheeks. The muscles in Vessel’s face twitched and his fingers twisted as if with the urge to scratch but they appeared to be bound at his sides. As time passed, the bumps became more pronounced lesions, slightly wound-like but they remained the color of Vessel’s pale skin. It started to look like something wanted to emerge from the skin and as the protrusions grew, slits appeared over them. II gave up reading and sat by Vessel’s head, running his hand over his hair, trying to find and hopefully give comfort.
The area around Vessel’s eyes became swollen and II tried to soothe the skin with a cold compress after running downstairs to get some ice into a bowl of water. He watched the strange bumps and blinked forcefully when he saw them start to ooze an inky liquid. His heart skipped a beat and he tugged on his link with Sleep in panic but the deity only sent back reassurance. It did little to ease II’s anxiety and he tried to be as careful as possible when he wiped over the area with trembling hands. More fluid kept leaking out and he concentrated on keeping his other’s face clean. Tears trickled down from the corners of Vessel’s eyes and II made sure to blot those, too. The black fluid turned thicker, into a gooey substance but II just kept wiping it away, then had to rush to the bathroom to get some clean water. He ran the cloth gently over the skin and once he got one protrusion clean, he suddenly realized what he was seeing. There were four bumps, right under Vessel’s eyes, two on each side, lined up perfectly. Under the clean skin, something round was forming and when II leaned closer, it seemed to be moving slowly, making the slits shift a bit as well.
“Oh, that’s-" II froze with his hand over the bowl and blinked, then quickly reached for Vessel’s face to wipe away the black ooze before it could have run down the man’s face. Now that he concentrated on them and as they formed in front of his eyes, he could see them. Four additional eyes. Underdeveloped, but getting more and more distinct. II found that his anxiety had eased and he couldn’t help staring at the changes with soft wonder. His love was changing right in front of him. He didn’t know when Vessel started trembling, but he tried to soothe him with gentle words and touches as the sun set over them. His fever started to ease up and his skin had mostly returned to its usual pale color. Careful fingers caressed around Vessel’s upper eyes, tracing the small lines in the corners of them, then ran over his brows as II looked at the man’s perpetual under-eye bags, which appeared prominent in contrast with the developing pairs that didn’t have them.
The oozing began to slow and stopped entirely somewhere in the night, which permitted II to stretch for a bit and bring a packet of biscuits to the bed. He ate and looked at the new eyes, still not entirely developed but recognizable for what they were. II took in the familiar face before him. It was still Vessel. He changed but he was the same. II watched him grow eyes and spent a long time looking at them, long enough that they didn’t appear strange to him. Of course, the concept was strange but the eyes fit on Vessel’s face and II only felt his anticipation grow for the moment Vessel would finally wake up. The day had been tiring but II couldn’t get enough of looking at his other’s face, so he eventually fell asleep lying next to the man, one hand slowly caressing the line of his jaw.
II stirred around dawn and stayed in bed playing with Vessel’s fingers, listening to his breaths. His partner felt more connected to him somehow. II focused on their link and realized that the previously almost faint presence was now clearer and closer. It was only a bit different than the previous day but their connection felt like it ran deeper, was more rooted. II felt as if his mind was brushing against the very existence of his love lying next to him, although Vessel still appeared to be asleep. Nevertheless, it made II excited since he suspected that Vessel might wake soon. It was hard to contain his delight, especially when it felt like Vessel’s mind was gaining consciousness, becoming more aware of itself and the presence connected to it.
It was hard for him to sit still, so II occupied himself with making tea when he heard a long sigh and the sound of sheets rustling behind him. His heartbeat was in his ears as he turned around to see Vessel’s eyes flutter open. II was on the bed in an instant, blinking back the tears that started to gather in his eyes.
“Hey,” His hands hovered over his partner’s shoulders, waiting for him to make eye contact. Vessel blinked slowly, his two original eyes in time with each other, the other four slightly out of sync, eyelids stuck together first, then opening sluggishly.
“Two?” Vessel’s voice was hoarse and II snatched his water bottle from the bedside table for him. The man was blinking in front of himself still, squinting and squeezing his eyes shut, then opening them. He pushed himself up onto his elbows and lifted his arm that rested beside II, speaking in a distressed tone, “I can- can’t see,” Vessel licked his lips and his throat bobbed as he swallowed dryly. His eyes were glistening, quickly filling with tears and II felt words get stuck in his throat. In the ongoing silence, Vessel whispered, “Two?”
A hesitant hand reached for II, searching for him and II realized Vessel truly couldn’t see him by the way he kept blinking and looked in front of himself, eyes unfocused, blinking forcefully as if only his tears were obscuring his vision. II reached out to gather Vessel in his arms and cradle his face to his chest, then grimaced when Vessel winced in surprise.
“I’m sorry, I’ve got you, I’ve got you, love,” II’s lips brushed against Vessel’s temple as he murmured and pressed a kiss there.
Vessel was trembling in his hold and gasped around a silent sob, “I’m scared,” It was a simple admission but broke II’s heart all the same. There was so much confusion, fear, and panic in their bond, II couldn’t tell which emotion was whose.
“It- it’s gonna be okay,” II swayed them lightly, “I’ve got you, okay? You did it, Vessel, you got through it. I’m here,” He knew he was rambling but he didn’t know what to say to make it better.
Vessel sniffled and nodded, then let out a sob into II’s chest. II caressed his hair for a few minutes, simply holding him, then his hands settled on the other’s shoulders and pulled back, “Drink some water, love,” He offered the bottle to Vessel who took it and had a few sips, then reached up to wipe his tears and drew his hand back, startled.
“Oh. What-?” Trembling hands reached up to map out his new eyes, Vessel’s brows furrowing as he did, gaze lost in the middle distance. His breathing started to pick up, eyes widening to various sizes.
“Hey,” II gently took Vessel’s hands, “Ves, listen,” The man’s attention was on him and he squinted as he turned his head towards II, “Can you see anything? Anything at all?” Vessel kept squinting and blinking, then turned his gaze around the room.
He turned back to II and his eyes drifted behind him towards the window, “Uh, a little bit of light, I think,” Vessel spoke quietly, then swallowed, “It’s like I’m looking at a- a shadow realm or something,” He grimaced and pointed behind II with a trembling hand, “There’s some light at the window.”
II hadn’t pulled the curtains open yet, so he quickly stepped to the window to let more light in. Vessel made a small noise as II let go of his hands and kept trying to focus his eyes. There was so much anxiety swirling in II’s mind as he tried to reach out to Sleep, but Their presence was muted.
After a deep breath, he looked at Vessel’s frown with a soft, sad expression, then said tentatively, “You should eat something, love,” He had no better idea and they both needed some time to calm down and think. A warm meal could help with that.
He started to get up from the bed and Vessel’s eyes widened with fear, hands reaching towards where II was sitting moments ago, pleading words tumbling out before he could think, “Please, don’t leave me alone.”
II’s chest ached at the spike of anxiety he could feel and he reached for Vessel’s outstretched hand, squeezing it gently, “I won’t, I promise.”
